It’s 6 pm on a Tuesday night and my daughter darts up to me like a hummingbird high on nectar.  She’s hit the dessert table at the preschool potluck and scarfed down an enormous double-chocolate frosted cupcake.  Eyes preternaturally bright, grinning ear to ear, she zooms past and screams in delight, “SUGAR KITTY!”

 This is our pet name for her when she’s jacked up on sugar, which happens with increasing frequency.  During her babyhood, we tried to avoid refined sweets, but things went downhill on her first birthday when she plunged both hands into the white frosting of her carrot cake and licked them clean.

 Sugar is the current pariah in the world of nutrition.  A few decades ago, it was salt, then it was fat, and today we’re warned off anything with a high glycemic index.  The naturopaths advise using honey, maple syrup, molasses, agave nectar, Stevia, or any natural sweetener besides good old Domino white.  But where can you find soft-serve ice cream made with Stevia?  And is sugar really that bad for kids?

 Sugar is pure energy-but it comes with a cost.  The consequences of full-on birthday party fare on an empty stomach are lethal for my child, both in terms of wild behavior and the inevitable crash.  (I find a pre-party high-protein snack like peanut-butter can lessen the high and cushion the low.)  But chocolate cake with ice cream makes my girl particularly feral.  It works as a drug on her 35-lb body, keeping her up late running naked laps before bedtime, altering her personality, inhibiting my usual affection for her.

 When asked what kind of cake she wanted for her 4^th birthday, my cousin famously replied, “Forget the cake.  Let’s all just eat sugar!”  Likewise, my daughter isn’t picky about the form of her sugar fix; her taste buds are simply primed for sweet.  This comes in part from our evolutionary craving for quick carbs, which kept prehistoric humans alive during eras of starvation. 

 But my child’s penchant for treats also runs in the family, because I too am a confessed dessert fiend.  Most days I indulge in a fresh-baked chocolate-chip cookie as a pick-me-up-and it does indeed pick me up, comforting me with its gooey sweetness, fueling me as I get things done, making me feel fantastic before it lets me down hard. 

 I know parents who’ve successfully delayed giving their children even one lick of ice cream until their third birthday.  What resolve-to keep sugar out of the house and resist it themselves when out in public!  I bow down in awe at their limit-setting feet, but doubt I could ever be so disciplined.  How could I deny my children a treat when I want one daily myself?

 One of my friends periodically gets off the Sugar Train and takes her family with her.  They go cold turkey, staying sugar-free for weeks at a time.  By day three, the 4-year-old stops asking for lollipops and a new calm descends on the house.  The parents feel cleansed and invigorated, freed from the tyrannical cycle of craving-high-crash.

 Sometimes I also long for the even keel of a life without sugar- the stable moods, the enhanced immune function, the healthy teeth.   I fear I’m instilling bad habits in my oldest, who seems obsessed with treats, as well as my youngest, who can eat bowlfuls of canned whipped cream.  Perhaps an elimination diet is what we all need.

 But I know I’d get stressed trying to enforce sugar abolition.  I find something joyless about it, the refusal of deliciousness and pleasure.  It feels antisocial as well, since most communal events, holidays, and birthdays are loaded with desserts, and in this public land of plenty, how can parents Just Say No?  But maybe now I’m just rationalizing my own addiction.

 Instead of worrying, I want to relax, take a deep breath, and find the Middle Path.  As I get older I believe moderation is the key to all things, from parenting to food.  At least for now, our household will enjoy one (or two) sweet treats in our (mostly) balanced daily diet, with the occasional evening of over-indulgence at a party. It’s a healthy release for the whole family to celebrate together, even if it means eating double desserts.   When Mama stops being Sugar Watchdog and starts playing Sugar Kitty, everyone has more fun.  MEOW!

 

(*Originally published in The Brattleboro Reformer, July 11, 2009)

Tags:   nutrition · Parenting · sugar2 Comments