Give me October in Vermont and I’ll give you apple-picking, leaf-raking, and blazing orange-red hills.  

I’ll also give you 35 degrees and raining.  This morning I manhandled A. into her winter parka and physically pushed her out the door.  She was refusing to go outside due to the cold, and I was having an anxiety-inducing flashback of the past 2 winters, when she protested nearly all outdoor activities.  

A. loves to stay in the playroom for hours on end, drawing, cutting scraps of paper, playing Bunny School as the walls slowly close in on her housebound Mother.

“YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE!”  I yelled, losing all sense of perspective.  

She ran into the playroom and stood there with her eyes closed, a recent stall tactic.  If she can’t see me, maybe I can’t see her.

I continued my tirade:  ”In this family, we go play outside!  When you’re 18, you can move to Miami.  When you’re 18, you can stay in the house all winter long if you want.  But right now, there is no choice.  We’re going out.”

And out we went, A. still with her eyes squeezed shut.  I picked her up and hugged her, trying to make amends (in hormone-induced Jekyl/Hyde style) for my angry outburst.  

C. led the way and we went over to their “garden,” a dirt patch where we planted crocus bulbs yesterday.  Nothing blooming yet.  We picked some sprigs of mint and chewed on them.  I tried to start a game of Camp-out in the jungle-gym.

A wet rain spit down on us.  We lasted about 20 minutes, but the fresh air fortified my spirits.

“I’m sorry I yelled.  I didn’t mean to get angry.  I just really, REALLY like to go outside,” I told A.

“Were you mad?” she asked me.

Two weeks till Daylight Savings, the official Dark Season.  I say a prayer to Kali, Kuan Yin, and any and all goddesses of motherhood.  

Please, let me keep my temper and my patience.

Please, let me survive this winter.

Tags:   daylight saving time · Parenting · preschooler · winter1 Comment