As the country debates Marriage as an institution, I consider the state of my own union.

Tonight C. nursed to sleep in my arms after a night away.  Such sweet reunion.  Sometimes she likes to take my lower lip in her mouth and suck on it, laughing.

Later, A. wrote me a card because she knew I was sad:

“DIANA I LOVE YOU” printed in big red letters.

As we lay snuggling in her bed, she traced her fingers over my eyebrows and played with my hair.  All the intimacy I once shared with my husband seems to have been displaced onto our children.

Despite another read-through of the bible of my second pregnancy, Babyproofing Your Marriage, I am at a loss.  Where do we go from here?

I wish I remembered that 80s TV show, “Married With Children,” because the three words keep running through my head. Were those screen parents happily, romantically in love?  Was it all a crock?

I don’t know any couple with 2 (or more) young children who seem particularly blissful.  We’re all in over our heads, trying to keep the kids fed and the house clean, trying to get enough sleep and pay the mortgage, get through the daily routine and carve out precious personal time for ourselves, let alone with our spouses.

But what happens when you get that alone time and you have nothing kind to say to each other?  What happens when affection is gone, forget about romance.

I don’t know what I expected when my father told me (years ago) that marriage takes a lot of hard work.  I thought– “maybe for other people, but WE’re different.”  Or, “That’s okay, I’m up for the challenge.”

Bottom line:  I am still up for the challenge.  But to meet it, I need help.  I need support, friendship.  A big hug, not even a kiss.

Tags:   marriage · married with children · Parenting1 Comment