Dear Diana:
I love your weekly columns. I find them brave and honest and very refreshing.

The last one was particularly interesting. I am a social worker in private practice in West Dover and Brattleboro and also teach the Coping With Divorce class at the Court in Brattleboro (mandated for any couple separating or divorcing with children under 18). The issues you brought up were very relevant and I hope had an impact on the couples who do give up when things get tough. I thought you were non-judgemental but firm in your beliefs. I think it is important that each member of the couple take responsibility for the success or failure of the marriage without guilt or blame if the marriage fails, but a knowledge that each member tried his/her hardest. When I talk about how to tell our kids that “mommy and daddy are separating”, I urge them to not just say, “it didn’t work” but to say, “we tried really hard to make it work but just couldn’t succeed.” This teaches children that not all relationships are meant to last forever, but that it is important for us not to give up without trying.

Thank you, keep then coming,
Joanne Finkel, LICSW